Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway?

Our Family

My Husband, Aaron and I just finished spending the weekend with our 8 year old son, Carter, at Landmark Education for Young People.  It’s interesting to me that after doing the Landmark Forum and the Landmark Advanced Course,  here we were sitting through it with Carter.  When Aaron and I did Landmark over 4 years ago, Carter was 4 years old and now here he was doing it at 8 years old.  If I had gained this technology and skills when I was Carter’s age, who knows how my perspective on life would’ve been through my childhood and adolescent years, and even in my 20′s and early 30′s.

I certainly was not part of the ‘popular’ kids while going through school.  I was by no means a beauty queen or the smartest kid.  I was a skinny little asian girl that looked a lot different than my caucasion peers. One girl in second grade told me she wouldn’t play with me because my eyes were scary, then she put her fingers up to her eyes to do a slanted look to describe to me what I looked like to her.  I didn’t understand that I looked any different until that revelation.

As I got older, my boobs didn’t grow with me. The boys in Jr. High said I was flat chested. My overbite and teeth were too big for my mouth and I started getting acne.  Not just a little acne, a lot of acne.

I grew up in a household where I was told that I wasn’t ‘Vietnamese’ enough and went to a school where I wasn’t ‘White’ enough.  My Parents got divorced when I was 16 years old and I was happy the fighting was over, but it was still miserable.

What a confusing time! I had very low self-esteem, but had a lot of confidence that I could achieve whatever I wanted.  Sounds odd I know, but it got me to where I was in a major part in a high school play and I was the President of the French club.

This set the stage for what was coming in my 20′s….I’ll save that for another blog.

I don’t know all the challenges that Carter comes up against in school and he doesn’t always share how he feels (as most 8 year old boys don’t share these feelings with their parents).  He’s been punched in the head by a bully, sent to the Principal’s office for being distracting in class, and yet he is great in math, spelling, & reading.  He’s one of the strongest swimmers I’ve ever seen in his age group and also one of the sweetest and polite boys that I know (ok, maybe I’m biased).  He gets frustrated, upset, and procrastinates just like a lot of us. He’s also free-spirited, kind, loving, caring, out-going and loves to have fun.

The point is that Carter learned some new skills this weekend that may or may not change his life overnight, but he has a different sense of self-awareness and an awareness of those around him.  He gets an opportunity to look at his life in a different way and be responsible for the choices and decisions that he makes. This part I believe he understands.  Whether he is happy, sad, bored, playful, it’s all his decision and he has control over how he feels about it. He gets to choose.

He gets to be responsible for his own life.

What a concept.

We all have that same choice.

Google Sucks!

I’m good with lead generation through Google Adwords…as a matter of fact, I was considered one of the best in the business.  Well, for those of you that are internet marketers out there that have been watching what is going on with Google and how it has changed the face of advertising, you know that Google is going through some major changes. And not good ones for those of us who are entrepreneurs with a real internet/online business.  They are randomly suspending several tens of thousands of advertisers, including us, even after they’ve given us all their ‘advertising guidelines and policies’ of which we have followed to a ‘T’. We’ve done all they’ve asked and invested over $150K in the last 12 months with them.  Ok, so we were good enough to take $150K+ from for the last 12 months, but then all of the sudden we’re not allowed to advertise on their site anymore? Huh?  If you’ve got an experience you’d like to share or you want to add a comment, please post it below. I would like as many comments or questions (ask me anything about this subject) as possible, so this blog post can be posted on Google.com’s natural search at the top!

Damn, I’m Ashamed of Saying this was Selfish of Me!

I was paying out our bills this morning and yes, I still do it the old school way, I write checks. No, we don’t do any banking online, and that is because it has

not been a priority to set it up (ok, I’m lazy). Well, I was only going to be writing two bills and as I was going through all the mail, I saw that there were at

least eight out of the dozen charitable organizations we usually donate to, still sitting there waiting for me to write a check.  Ok, there’s something you should

know about me, ever since the keyboard was invented, I have become very lazy about handwriting anything  (which doesn’t quite explain why I haven’t

set up internet banking yet – it would be so easy, right?), so I  was looking at this stack of paper and feeling dread about writing another check.

My Husband, Aaron and I have always known that it is really important in our lives to give to others that can’t help themselves. We are so fortunate to have

the kind of income that allows us more than enough money to contribute to organizations we care about.  We both strive high and overachieve so that we can

provide for our family and give to others what we want, whenever we want.  We can be generous on every occasion.  We live by the theory of ‘you can’t help the

poor by being one’, so we do whatever it takes to give self-lessly.

I remember one of my business mentors saying that he would talk to people and ask them what their goal was. What was their personal goal? The same

answer came most of the time. To be debt-free and take care of their family. Some said they don’t want to be selfish and they don’t need much, just enough

to take care of themselves, pay off their debt and take care of their families.  His response was,”Excuse me for saying this, but that IS the most selfish thing

I’ve ever heard!” I was a little dumb founded when he said this, but he went on to say, “What about the children and families that live in other countries that

don’t have clean water, no electricity, no sewer systems, they drink and urinate in the same pool, they don’t have food, no clothes, NOTHING! And all you

want is to do is become debt-free and take care of you and your family? Well, yes, of course, we all want that, but what about the rest of the world?”.  When I

heard that, my heart sank. He wasn’t talking directly to me, but it was as if he was right in front of my face confronting me on this. I felt like crawling into the

corner and hiding. He was so right!

Money is great to have in the bank, it makes our choices a lot easier, it certainly makes the trip around the world easier and gives us much peace of

mind. But then, how many cars, homes, yachts, fancy hotels, swimming pools, jets, trips to anywhere in the world can you have? Well, yes, don’t get

me wrong, these are all things that we definitely enjoy and appreciate that our internet/online marketing business opportunity give us.  We are blessed

and so what was stopping me from writing those checks except the fact that I couldn’t move  my wrist and fingers with the stroke of my pen to bless someone

else’s life?  How selfish of me at this moment!  I started writing checks immediately.  I blessed each organization and those they assist as I was licking the

envelopes. And then this really did it for me…..

I was surfing the channels on TV the other night and I rarely stop on CNN (we call it constant negative news in our house), but this night they were featuring

their top 10 heroes for 2009.  They were on #2 and then #1, the top hero.  The #2 winner was a gentleman who is a pilot (his contract with the airline he flies

for ends on November 11, 2009) and one night saw orphans in southeast suffering, so he and his family cancelled a vacation they had and went to southeast

asia to assist these children. They ended up moving there and dedicating their lives to building an orphanage with a school. He uses all his personal salary as

as a pilot to fund the orphanage.

The #1 hero was a 25 year old man who is in the wine industry and he travelled the world after college and saw many people did not have access to clean

water. This leads to disease and death, an ugly death. He found that over 1 billion people don’t have access to clean drinking water.  Could you imagine not

having clean drinking water?  Could you imagine your children not having clean drinking water and possibly having a disease before they could talk and then

dying from it?  I can’t!!!! I cried my eyes out that night and couldn’t sleep.  Well, this gentleman formed a charitable organization called ‘Wine for Water’ to

raise money for third world countries to build clean water systems in their communities. He has now assisted over 26,000 people in over 5 countries have

clean water. WOW!!!

You can go to http://CNN.com/heroes to find out more about their organizations along with the other 8 top contenders. Well, as far as I’m concerned, they all

get the top prize.  My heart goes out to them and all those they assist.  Do you think we’re going to be assisting them in their cause, you bet your ass!

Gotta go now and move forward in changing the world even if it just starts with writing some checks.

I’m Tired of Hearing that I’m in the Right Place at the Right Time

I had a couple of Friends in town this weekend and they were both single females.  I love them both dearly and it makes me wonder why they

aren’t in happy, fullfilling relationships yet.  It would be different if they didn’t want to be in relationships, but both of them do.  One is a very

attractive 34 year old, 5’11” tall female with a great career, sweet as pie, wants to be in a relationship, but not dating, and says she finds it

challenging to find the right man. My other friend has been through a divorce, very beautiful 34 year old female too, in great shape, is also a

sweetheart, wants to be in a relationship, and  has yet to find a fulfilling relationship.  Well, I spent a good amount of time with the two of

them this weekend and hearing them talk about who the “right man” for them would be….

 

I have heard this once before and will repeat it again for others….they are looking for the “right man”, but what about being the “right woman” so that when

the “right man” comes along, there will be no confusion that they are “right for each other”.

 

Just like in business, this same rule applies.  We must become more attractive to the “right person” looking for the “right opportunity” with the “right leader”. 

We want all the “right people” in our business, however, ask yourself this question – would you sign up with yourself? Are you attractive to others?  Are you the

right leader others are looking for?

 

We are all seeking a leader that can lead us to the path of our dreams.  A leader that can lead others to the promise land not by threatening others or telling

their followers something that would be in the interest of the leader, but the leader does it in the best interest of the follower. In today’s market, people who are

seeking a way to make money on the internet or make money from home aren’t just seeking the money, they are seeking a leader that they can trust. They

are looking for honesty in an unhonest world. They are looking for security in an unsecure world. They are looking for loyalty in an unloyal world.  They are

buying hope when much hope has been lost. They are buying “YOU” more than they are buying the business or product that you are representing.

 

With so many investment markets crashing around us and companies/industries looking for bailouts, the internet has become a huge information resource

for people to look for a way to make more income and re-coup what they lost.  People aren’t going to the yellow pages or the newspaper classified ads

anymore, they are going online. This is why it is critical not only to be in the right place at the right time, but to be the right person. To be the right person is

more critical that the other two.

 

I’ve had to look deeper within myself now more than ever.  How I can be more loving, transparent, patient, tolerant and accepting? How can I continue to

grow as a person emotionally and spiritually before just learning more technical skills? This is a huge challenge for me since I’m not the easiest person to

warm up to and I’m a private person.  As a matter of fact, doing a blog about my thoughts and emotions (and there’s a lot of emotions!) is a huge step out of my

comfort zone.

 

Are you fulfilled with being you, just the way you are? Are you in the relationship you’ve always wanted? Where are you in your business? Are you attracting

leaders and business builders into your business? Are you the leader others are seeking? 

 

Don’t blame others if the answer is no. Look in the mirror and there we will all find both the problem and the solution.

Carter, Be Careful!

 

 

Carter on stage with us winning an Apple MacBook

Today, Carter, our 8 year old decided that he would rollerblade to school. Not his typical day taking his skateboard or scooter, his rollerblades. Well, I’ve never seen Carter rollerblade and I don’t know how well he does it, until today. 

 

During Carter’s life, we’ve always told him he can do anything he sets his mind to, amongst other empowering mantre’s that he used to say at night since the day he could speak. Who am I to destroy all the lessons I instilled in him by telling him that he shouldn’t rollerblade to school until he could do it well. I was close to telling him to practice at home first before using it as his vehicle on the way to school, but I conciously refrained myself from saying anything except the fact that it was a great idea.

He got his homework in his backpack and I could tell that he had planned on getting out the door early enough so he could get his rollerblades on, knowing that it would take him that extra few minutes. I could see how anxious he was to leave, so I didn’t want to stop my boy that was on a mission. I kissed him goodbye and told him ‘I love you, have a great day’. I waited at the door while he was in the garage getting them on. I couldn’t see him sitting on the ground, being that our cars were parked in the garage blocking my view. After a couple minutes went by, then another couple of minutes went by, I was a little concerned he was going to be late, or maybe he had problems getting the blades on. I kept quiet and finally he was up with his helmet, rollerblades and wrist guards ready to go.

He stumbled down the driveway and that’s when I started biting my fingernails. I knew I had to let go, but in my mind I wanted to say ‘be careful!’. Well, I didn’t say anything. I rushed over to look out the front door where I could continue to see him go up the street and thought to myself, he’s stumbling so much that he may as well be walking.

Knowing what I know about trials to triumphs, I know I’m making some kind of impact on this 8 year old’s mind by just allowing him to know that what he’s doing is a good thing. He’s doing what I’ve (we) taught him all these years, which is really doing anything that he sets his mind to. I’m proud to see that he is willing to do some new things without the influence of whether or not he can do it. There is no cloud in judgment. He just does it. Isn’t that the Nike mantre? ‘Just do it’.

What kind of teachings have all of us been raised with by our parents telling us to be careful, don’t get your hopes up, go find a real job. Has that really ever gotten anyone anywhere in life except to accept and settle? I’ll never say these things to Carter, he’ll never hear that in this house. As a matter of fact, he believes so much in the fact that he can do anything he sets his mind to, that he has no limits and that can cause a rift sometimes in our house with the boundaries and rules that we set.  Yes, discipline is a challenge sometimes, but I know that one day he will grow up to be a great man that will inspire and touch so many others’ lives.

‘Julie & Julia’ Inspired Me to Write this One

I am not the writer in our family. My Husband, Aaron is.

I usually don’t see movies by myself but I’ve been at home with the boys for the last three days while Aaron was in Manhattan for business. I wanted to see a chick flick, but not your typical romantic comedy or tragedy (when you’re married for a few years like me, for some reason those just don’t do it, I wanted INSPIRATION). So, I looked on the listings and there wasn’t much that interested me. I wasn’t even interested in seeing ‘Julie & Julia’ at first. A movie about culinary cuisine? I barely cook for my family these days since our business and the boys’ activities keeps us pretty busy and productive throughout the week.

Nevertheless, it did get good reviews, and I was desparate just to get out by myself. Knowing that it was something my Husband would not be interested in, I didn’t even bother to invite him to come with me. By the end of the movie, I’d say that when it’s available, I’ll buy it. I don’t buy movies unless I absolutely love them, and I don’t absolutely love very many movies. The two characters in the movie, Julia Child and Julie Powell were two women that started cooking simply because they loved food and decided to write about it from two different perspectives and eras. Julie Powell was inspired by Julia Child. And now I am inspired by Julie Powell to write this blog.  

Julie Powell, in 2002, decided to blog her entire experience cooking from the cookbook that Julia Child wrote on the ‘Mastering the Art of French Cooking’. 524 recipes in 365 days. Her blog didn’t get much traffic at first, but then it accumulated. It became so popular that she eventually was interviewed by the New York Times which then led to a book deal and now her true story in the movie.

Julia Child, in the 1950′s, went through her own challenges at her time. Her passion for eating, led her to learning how to become a culinary expert. Before the ‘Julia Child’ that we know today, she could barely slice an onion. Julia was a wife that had a high desire to have children, but couldn’t. She attended a top culinary school in Paris and tapped into her own brilliance developing recipes for all kinds of sauces, meats, dishes that most of us eat today. She was offered the chance to co-write a book, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking’, which she took on as a personal project and it took nearly a decade for a publisher to take it on. Of course, now the book is word re-knowned selling millions of copies, she has done many cooking shows on television (in which her down to earth, matter of fact, comedic style comes through) and Julia Child is a household name.

The passion both these women had, resonates through the whole movie. The love, frustration, comedy, committment, all of it comes out with such transperancy in these two women’s lives. They never gave up on their passion.

This is what we must all do in our lives, whether it is with our loved ones, careers, hobbies, entrepreneur endeavors. These must be taken on with passion and committment to succeed. It must be shown to our Readers that we are real human beings. The ability to connect is now more important than ever since the internet has allowed us this privilege of a virtual reality world. We sit behind our computers, read, then type away. Sometimes, several hours pass before we look up from our screens and notice there are other people around us.

I started my business of marketing on the internet a year ago simply because I had our second child in March 2008 and by the time he was 4 months old, I was bored out of my mind! I always had aspirations to do more and be more, and the internet was a place that was interesting but scary and intimidating to me. Well, I regret that I haven’t blogged about my experience in the last year, because from no experience to My Husband, Aaron and I becoming Top Producers online in internet marketing, it has been quite the experience to say the least. From post-partum hormones, 16 hour days, sacrificing family time (my Husband and Boys gave up a lot), melt downs (not the boys, me!), I decided to start blogging my journey so that other women and Parents could read and relate to someone else out there that is committed to their family and passion for whatever it is they want in their lives.

Afterall, I’ve had many inspirations in my life and now it’s time to pay it forward. I would like to leave footprints for all future marketers (especially our children), so look for future posts from me as now I am also a writer in our family!